Slave to the 11C

4 Every 40 minutes at peak times...

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Critter Country (Spot the Devil)



Foul mouthed but amusing :)
(not that I condone praying to any religious diety/satanic figure/the furniture for the death/"retirement" (in the Soprano Sense) of another human being.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Thank God!

I decided to follow Bob's lead and change my template. And then everything disappeared. Gaaahhh!!! After ten minutes of bashing keys and trying to remember the passwords for haloscan and the hit counter people, I managed to get most of the features back.
I'm going to try to add some more items to the sidebar, but this will involve a translation of the template hieroglyphics and some jiggering about (I doubt I will be able to recreate the same font for the headings, as I gather they're gifs downloaded from Blogger. Anyhow I hope you enjoy it. Archives:

Fahrenheit 9/11 - A third view

Yes I know you're all comatose out there (all 3 of you). I'm on a mission :)

Hollywood Bitchslap - Defending Truth: Slate's Chris Hitchens does a hatchet job on Michael MooreFahrenheit 911 - Round 15

Monday, June 28, 2004

Reuters | Latest Financial News / Full News Coverage

I thought only Paul Ince could get the ball into Row Q.

Factsheets | House of Parliament

Ever wondered how the Houses of Parliament work? 60ish pdf files on parliamentary procedure,
including an indepth guide on what type of contraceptives match different coloured
powders, and the proposed sound proof glass for the liberal enclosure.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Sworn Enemy

OK.. I've done enough Moore snooping already, but here's a
link off

Not exactly middle of the road.....

Rich Lowry: The Halliburton smear Another perspective on Halliburton.

fahrenheit fact

Here we go.... the hard evidence I was looking for. Talk your way out of this Mr Moore...

Oh.... What the f***?

1) 911 is funded by terrorists. Whats this got to do with evidence?

2) Requests for Saudi flights only went as high as Clarke
(as if - flights during a no fly alert - Bush needed to know).
Anyhow that's a to the point comment of the evidence presented,
so I'll let it go.

3) Nick Berg - War Profiteer. Bad taste with him being beheaded. But why was he beheaded. A Point aimed at the evidence, but misdirection.

4) Three members of Cannes jury have ties to Miramax. Errr, hello?
OK, so how does the Palme D'or being biased have anything to do with evidence?

5) Michael Moore had abuse footage without notifying DOD. I can think of a few good reasons why he didn't notify, but I'm not justifying it. Doesn't touch on the evidence.

6) Moore distort's Bush vacation days. Oh Mr Moore is on the ropes now.

7) Moore is preparing to sue critics of the film. Well he has set an office up to prove the information provided in the film. And that Darn Moore's going to sue anyone who slanders him. The crook. Nothing to do with the film, and an indication that Moore is willing to argue his findings.

8) Disney told Moore they wouldn't distribute over a year ago. Nexttttttttttttttt.....

9) 9/11 Commission applauds Bush 7 Minutes. Meatyish point. As I mentioned previously, the only serious criticism of Moore came from this commission. OK, Moore may have given a biased perspective of what he was thinking. A point to the opposition. But I would argue there was no factual evidence being disputed.

10) Unocal. Partly Retracted. Website admits pipelines being built. A good stab though. The actions of the oil companies (if they can be proved) could dent Moore seriously, if someone can prove (and I say prove) that their actions are in direct contradiction with Moore's findings.
Its still a bit quiet on that front...

BBC NEWS | Politics | UK alarm over Guantanamo trials

More Criticism falling on deaf ears. Is it too much to ask that our ministers show an independent viewpoint from our US counterparts?
The critics are mounting thick and fast...

MOOREWATCH - Watching Michael Moore's every move

Move America Forward

Having watched Bowling for Columbine, reading "Dude Where's My Country?" and keeping an eye on the controversy surrounding Fahrenheit 9/11, I've been cautious to not take what Michael Moore says at face value. Moore has collated articles from the press, film clips and interviews, and has constructed webs of conspiracy. Is he looking out for the best interests of the working class, or seeking his own self worth? One man's simplistic viewpoint of complex situations?

If the Conservative Right Wing were to give weighted arguments why Moore's evidence is inadequate and counter-argued with their version of events, then I'm sure a lot more people would be wary of what Moore has to say.

So.......... what have the conservative right got to offer? Their strongest argument is that Fahrenheit 911 is political propaganda for John Kerry. This a fair point, as Moore did go on an anti-Bush rampage. Does this "Move America Forward" website give weighted criticisms of the points made in the film? No (though it does have adverts to right wing organisations).

In fact, the majority of the criticism aimed at Moore falls into these categories :

1) He's fat (the lard photo on MooreWatch was particularly satirical)
2) He's rich and wants to be more rich
3) He's unpatriotric and disrespectful to the armed forces who have gave their lies.

So essentially, the sites are urging you to get behind your country, have faith in the propaganda machine and support your troops. The facts and truth of the issues aren't important. Support your leader, and bide by his wishes. Support hand guns. Support the Religious far right.

OK, maybe that's a little simplistic. But here essentially lies the two sides of the ideological debate,
use your power to affect real political change, or leave it to your boss.

So I'm still a little confused. What did Michael Moore say that was inaccurate? The Bowling for Columbine criticism based itself again on personal attacks at Moore, and his objections to the NRA
(I'm still undecided whether Charlton Heston bombing it down his path being chased by a camera is funny or cruel).

I guess at the end of the day I'm still a little cynical about the neatness of the conspiracies. As the recent public enquiry showed, there were no links between the Saudi government and 9/11 (though as with all enquiries questions will no doubt be asked in regard to the scope of the enquiry and the evidence presented).

If no credible, substantial evidence is brought forward dismissing Moore's claims, then who am I to believe? Oh.. I forgot. My opinion doesn't count as I'm a "Candy-assed Liberalist".
(I also find it annoying that the words Liberal and Democrat have been highjacked by a different ideology
over here).

Urs Meier | Swiss Referee Oooooh.. a feedback form... muhahahaha.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Traders Prosecuted: Food
Named and shamed - Food Retail outlets in Brum.
Burger King in Martineau Square :)

You've seen the Wayne Rooney face masks.....

Early Day Motion 1255

Those dastardly cads at MI5.

Bloggerheads: The Parting Shot

Bloggerhead's final stand... (thanks to Bob for this)

The Dyson Telescope Game Vacuuming has never been so much fun....

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Early Day Motions

I've been looking through the Houses of Parliament website and its a goldmine of information. This site is dedicated to Early Day Motions, motions which are signed by backbenchers, and don't normally require parliamentary debate. The database also tells you which MPs are supporting the motion.

(The motion I was interested in was 1218 - Corporate Responsibility)

Wayne Rooney Pic

Saturday, June 19, 2004


I was looking for cross-channel ferry timetables and fares today.
When searching for the Belfast-Heysham ferry I came across a
number of links like One would assume that
this was the official website of P&O. Apparently not.
Instead the link redirected me to, a company offering
online bookings. When selecting the current timetable for the
Belfast/Heysham ferry I discovered no timetable information available.
So I tried again to find the official website.

Turns out its at but the site is so slow that my
browser gave up the ghost. I'm a tad annoyed that 3rd party
cowboy companies can flood google with references which
look like the genuine article. I'm more annoyed that P&O haven't
made sure that people know the real article. I think this shows
an ignorance and naivety by some major companies to the
policies and tricks of the internet.

Another example of a domain coup : Price Waterhouse Coopers
launched a company called Monday at the site (this site no longer exists). was snapped up by a web
developer and is still available to view :)

Friday, June 18, 2004

I had to catch the 11 last week when I was running late. I may as well have given up hope of making the time up there and then. I never seem to make it to the bus stop without just missing one (or it being deserted as one passed 5 minutes ago).

On some of the shelters there are timetables. These indicate "Every few minutes" between 8 and 6. Like some football teams I don't care to mention, they look very impressive on paper.

Time passes. Traffic passes. Into/Out of city busses pass. Nervous checks of the watch. Eventually on the horizon a convoy appears (with the first two busses displaying terminating destinations just before where you're going).

After successfully negotiating the stairs (usually accompanied by wild swinging as the driver maneouvres a roundabout) you think you're on a winner. You'll be at yor destination in no time. What you've failed to consider is your objectives vs the driver's objectives. You have meetings to go to, places to be, people to meet. The driver has 8 hours to kill, guiding a lump of metal round a 10 mile radius of Brum.

I think they may be under instruction from the engineers in regard to bus preservation (some of the vehicles look pre-war). It is essential that the bus must not engage third gear, and must not reach speeds of 30mph (high revving is good too). In helping to achieve this aim, the route has been mapped to include every major roundabout in a residential area.

So, you've taken all this into account and you're thinking you're still going to make it.
Its at this point the driver stops the bus and pulls one of the following stunts :

1) He's Early (yeah right) - so reads the paper for 15 minutes
2) Pops into the packed newsagents to get a drink.
3) Decides the ticket machine needs refilling
4) Changes his routes on the visible score board to confuse passengers and pedestrians alike.

I think I may need my medication.

Welcome to my Casbah

Thanks to Alwin for this link. A bit of an Alan Whicker character.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Garvan's Thoughts...:

This man cracks me up.


These are possibly the most ugly, aggravating creatures on the earth. A giant one swopped in through my front door tonight. They are horrid, I cannot stand to be in the same room as them. I wrapped myself from head to foot in a wheelie-bin liner and sprayed some weedkiller at it (no insecticide to hand), but it did not die. I tried also some anti-perspirant and some Mr Sheen, but the thing kept flapping madly and swooping at me. I tried to get the cats to attack it but they showed no interest. The gun eventually came out, and several shots were fired, but these things are impossible to hit, they are so fast. Eventually I summoned Raj and he killed it with a newspaper."

And in the comments :

I don't believe what I've just read. What Raj must have thought, when you arrived at his front door sweating (from your exertion) wrapped head-to-foot in plastic, and smelling perfumed (from your anti-perspirant) I can't imagine. We're all men of the world, but... I bet he thought you were about to tie yourself to his doorknob and asphyxiate yourself with your own braces, whilst asking him to put a pool ball in your mouth. This sort of think is probably quite popular amongst UKIP people, after all- they are the right-wing splinter Tories and we all know what they get up to. Moths? The last thing on his mind, I'm sure.

Ananova - F*cking villagers vote against name change

Courtesy of
You should have one

BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | Sex films help panda get pregnant

Panda Porn....

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Arts | Cheat's guide to Joyce's Ulysses

The BBC Vs Stephen Fry (via email submission).

I'm sure many of you out there (I hope there are other people out there apart from Bob) have compiled lists of "books I must read".
Regardless of variation, this is one of the titles that keep popping up.

I have to say after reading this article I'm quite scared. I was absolutely pummelled by "War and Peace" and sunk into a coma during the Quincunx (and I vowed to read all 1000 pages of each). Yet I keep getting this nagging feeling if I dont read them cover to cover I'm going to be out on a private joke that half the world's in on (and deprived of the literary corner at the Moseley Parties).

The strange thing is I've spoken to people who I consider to be well read, and they hate these books too (or were they just being kind? - there there, go and buy the beano). I dont like admitting defeat. I consider myself to have understood the book if I can repeat the main aspects of the story and the motivations of the characters (*&/^&** Tolstoy). "To fully appreciate this book you need to have a basic understanding of 13th Century Russian Aristocracy". Arghgghhhhhhh. So this Tolstoy chappy wasn't being a smug self-satisfactorial quill merchant. His work was a testament to how life and the aristocracy behaved during Napoleon times.

This really annoys me (as it did in English Class some time ago). Re-reading one paragraph of text over and over again, because somewhere in the middle you lost the plot. Does this display an ignorance of historial writing? Or has the author started getting lazy with the mental pictures?

So here we have Stephen Fry championing James Joyce (I'm sure he'd have no problems in the Moseley Party Literary Corner (MPLC).
"On page 33, I loved the way he stopped outside the Jewellers and asked (the previously invisible) Peter his opinion of 13th Century Russian aristocracy." The hours rolled by.........

So, in conclusion Mr Fry attacks the BBC for their banality and cynicism of Ulysses. In his opinion, Ulysses is one of the greatest books ever written. The problem I have with this is that Mr Fry has a great deal more ammunition than me. He could point out poetry styles, Irish Culture, historial references, slang, general foppishness, etc. He could probably also point out how the book was received when it was written (from his background - that wasn't an ageist swipe).

I am undereducated. To become more educated what should I do? I should read books. Good books. Well regarded books.
I don't understand the %IK%I$I%K books!!!!!! At the end of the day I have two options

1) Enrole at night college for combined honours in "Middle England Brat Packing Stage Bothering"/ " the B*stard Bl**dy Napoleon Wars
2) Go live in a cave. Watch Big Brother. Buy a burberry cap.

Tsk, guess I'll just have to read another book.

Monday, June 14, 2004

BBC NEWS | Technology | Inventor plans 'invisible walls'

They're called windows. This has got to be a wind up.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

BBC NEWS | UK | Injury warning for armchair fans

And you thought *playing* football was dangerous.

"In a situation when you can reasonably anticipate a goal, prepare your body by getting up off the sofa carefully so that you are already standing and then you can jump up and down, instead of springing off the sofa," she warned.

The leaflet recommends having food and drink supplies within arm's reach to avoid unnecessary "lunging".

Avoid sudden jerking movements, physiotherapists advise
It deals with frustration: "When protesting about a bad tackle, resist the urge to flail your arms around. It is often safer to take a deep breath, stand up and stamp your foot.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Superior Interactive - PC Games, including Repton

More Spectrum Nostalgia.. Repton was a classic (courtesy of the BBC Micro).

Friday, June 04, 2004

BBC NEWS | World | Americas | Second top official to quit CIA

And so the dominoes fall.....

Thursday, June 03, 2004

BBC NEWS | England | Bristol | Lyrics Clash with Special Branch

To Conclude the Big Brother Theme.....

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Date set for private space launch
MyTravellite are getting a little ambitious....

BBC NEWS | World | Americas | CIA chief George Tenet steps down

Hmm.. I thought (going by American films) the CIA could invent whatever truth they liked to keep their jobs. Obviously not...

I told him I'm sorry he's leaving. He's done a superb job on behalf of the American people," Mr Bush said.

Insert <500 richest> between the and American.

Jet Fighter Warranty Card

Have you filled out the warranty card for your F-16?

Bilderberg - The High Priests of Globalisation

Bilderberg II - They're coming to take his security blanket.

BBC NEWS | Magazine | Bilderberg: The ultimate conspiracy theory

Wait until Michael Moore hears about this lot....

Lib Dems on the fence again

Thanks to
Bob Piper
for this one.

The Liberal Democrats showing yet again that they are olympic class fence jumpers. Nothing like opportunism over principles.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Richard Lenski's Web Page

Test tube evolution catches time in a bottle - fascinating stuff.
How can you measure evolution? Many organisms take many generations to mutate. What if you use an organism that generates every 3.5 hours? If you introduce food and starvation at regular intervals will the organism adapt? If ten colonies experience exactly the same conditions will they evolve in the same way? Is this where we came from?

Tuesday, June 01, 2004 DVD: Battle of the Planets Mega Boxset One of the best reasons to turn your coat into a cape.

I'm scared to watch it again, as in practice, time is not kind to series you watch in doey-eyed innocence in your youth.

Battle of Planets was produced in Japan under the name Gatchaman. In typical Japanese anime fashion, there was plenty of death and destruction, and station bosses felt parents may protest if it hit American televisions in its original format.

Subsequently, a lot of the "action" was removed and a new character was created (7-Zark-7) to pad the time out. This made
a lot of the episodes incomprehensible.

The phoenix, Zoltar (complete with lipstick) and the underwater station launch were classic plot inventions up there with the Star Wars trench sequence (originally an idea from Dambusters). Where's
me coat?

If they release Ulysses 31 on DVD I shall be a very happy bunny.